How to find new spiritual practices

Need to know

Spirituality is a vital component of life, but it doesn’t look the same for everyone. It encompasses various practices and beliefs that help ground people in the here and now, connect them to others and the wider world, and motivate their intentions and actions. Like many people, you might be looking for peace of mind during a chaotic time. Or maybe you seek a sense of balance while trying to juggle the expectations of family and career, or other parts of your life. Many of us wish to enhance our understanding of ourselves and other people. We also search for answers to questions of worth and meaning, purpose and belonging, questions such as ‘Why am I here?’ or ‘What do I aim to do?’ These are all spiritual needs – and they illustrate why spiritual practice is as critical today as ever.

In many parts of the world, the obvious answer to the question of how to meet your spiritual needs would seem to be ‘religion’. Where I live, in the midwestern United States, the cities and towns are dotted by striking numbers of churches, mosques, synagogues, ashrams and other religious gathering places. Spend 30 minutes driving on any major road in my state of Michigan and you will encounter large crosses or billboards challenging drivers to accept the truth of God. Politicians regularly vie to highlight their religious bona fides. And so on. To live here is to exist in a space of religiosity, whether one believes or not.

Even in my very religious country, however, 28 per cent of adults do not participate in organised religion. Perhaps this group includes you. While some nonreligious adults were raised in a secular or atheist household, for many the move away from religion is more recent. Were you born into a religion that no longer resonates with your self-understanding? Do you find that the rituals and community established by religion fail to meet your needs?

Like so many others, you may nevertheless have a desire for some form of spiritual practice – just without the additional baggage or expectations of identifying with a religion. You might want to adopt new, personal practices that connect you to yourself, others and the natural world, that produce a sense of wonderment, provide fulfilment and rejuvenation, and help you overcome difficulties. If so, this Guide is for you.

Spiritual practices don’t require religious membership

Although the rates of people identifying with established religions have waned in many societies, there is plenty of evidence of humanity’s continued need for spirituality and spiritual practices. Like nearly a quarter of US adults, you might even think of yourself as ‘spiritual but not religious’. It’s a complicated term, no doubt, but one that reflects how a shift away from religious participation does not equal a rejection of spiritual needs and practices. Identifying as ‘spiritual but not religious’ can be a way to signal, to oneself and others, the pursuit of a spiritual life that offers guidance and comfort – even as those who use this term associate with a range of different practices and communities.

One of the roots for the word ‘spirituality’ is spiritus, meaning ‘breath’. It suggests how spirituality is connected to vitality, to existence itself. When considered in this way, spirituality clearly has to do with more than just religious faith. It is about our deepest human concerns and needs. Researchers have documented how spirituality can benefit mental health by providing and reinforcing inner peace. It offers perspective in moments of crisis and can help you face personal challenges and unrest. Whether you identify as atheist or agnostic, recently removed from religion or never involved, spiritual practices can provide essential tools.

What is a spiritual practice, exactly? It is a regular discipline or ritual undertaken with intention to cultivate and enhance spiritual growth. Some common examples include mindfulness meditation, yoga, journaling, communing with nature, manifesting and affirmation cycles, or the use of tarot or astrology. A routine practice that promotes wellbeing becomes ‘spiritual’ when it is intended to advance your sense of self and cultivate your connection to something greater than yourself, which might include a higher power, nature or other people. In so doing, such a practice may produce positive states of being such as a sense of peace or contentment, awe and reverence, gratitude or compassion. If a practice – even one that’s traditionally understood as a social activity or form of self-care – enhances these aspects of your life, then it can be pursued as a type of spiritual practice. This Guide introduces a host of possible spiritual practices and routes you can take to explore them, in keeping with your needs, lifestyle and hopes.

The ‘right’ spiritual practices depend on your needs

Importantly, there is not just one correct spiritual path, and spirituality is not something static, but rather a dynamic, lifelong journey. My own journey has shifted from a traditional religious upbringing in a Jewish household to an engagement with various spiritual practices. While the lessons I learned growing up established the moral grounding I want for myself (to always treat others with a sense of reverence, empathy and compassion), I found myself moving away from belief in God and the rituals associated with Judaism. Neither fortified me as I encountered more of the world and discovered more about what I desired for myself, for others, and for the natural world that we blessedly call home.

Through travel, conversation and trial and error, I thrust myself into new experiences with a desire to learn. This began with being honest about my lack of knowing, and making myself vulnerable to what surrounded me. As I saw others moved by the sight of an eclipse, an immersion in yoga or the insight of an astrological reading, I came to see that spiritual practices are more than the ways people bring to life their religious convictions. Instead, spiritual practices emerged as tools of orientation and grounding. They have given me ways to deal with the daily challenges and expectations of being an attentive full-time professor, a compassionate partner and a caring father. For instance, in mindfulness meditation – specifically walking meditation – I found a way to induce calm in moments of anxiety, a method to remind myself of my interconnection with the world (each step literally binding me to the earth), and a means to bring about the peace of mind I needed to engage in classroom conversations or be more present in my relationships.

In my time exploring and reflecting on my own spiritual practices, studying and teaching about spirituality, and engaging with people who describe themselves as spiritual but not religious, religious ‘nones’, secularists or atheists, I’ve catalogued a series of practical strategies that can help you locate the spiritual path that feels right for you, and incorporate fulfilling spiritual practices into everyday life.

What to do

Start with self-reflection

What are you looking for in terms of spirituality and spiritual practice? You might not know yet. Beginning with self-reflection can help you uncover your ‘why’ as you chart your path.

Self-reflection begins where you are and requires focus. Even as you read this Guide, you might pause here to take time to centre yourself. Begin by taking a few deep breaths, focusing on the nature of each breath, the inhale and exhale. Consider where you feel the breath. Is it in the cool air that crosses your nostrils or lips? In the rise and fall of your diaphragm? By simply taking a few minutes to focus on breathing, you come to see that while the mind is always active and easily distracted, focused breathing can help bring you back to the here and now, and open space for self-reflection.

This sort of exercise promotes mindfulness, or the gentle effort to be fully present, in a nonjudgmental way. As the Buddhist teacher and practitioner Thich Nhat Hanh has defined it: ‘Mindfulness is when you are truly there, mind and body together. You breathe in and out mindfully, you bring your mind back to your body, and you are there.’ Within a mindful space, you can better uncover your fears and motivations, your limitations and hopes, your intention in pursuing spiritual wellbeing.

When you are ready to engage in self-reflection, the aim is to focus on your thoughts and feelings to help you hear your inner voice and uncover what your heart seeks. The best way to do this is to identify a quiet place of comfort. Consider removing distractions such as your phone or other devices. Give yourself a time limit, whether it is a 5-minute walk or an hour of journaling. You could also set aside 10-15 minutes at the start or the end of each day (or both).

Begin with a brief centring practice. You could use the simple breathing exercise described above, or try a common breathing exercise called the 4-7-8 breathing technique: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and release for 8; repeat three times. Next, turn to either internal self-reflection or journaling.

This part can sometimes seem daunting – what do I think/write about? What concerns me? Why? Try not to get caught up on the specific ideas or words. Rather, focus on the process of reflecting, approaching it similarly to how you focus on your breathing. If you’re writing down your thoughts, concentrate on the feeling of the pen touching the paper and simply let the words flow. Remember, this process is for you – allow yourself to be present and key moments of realisation or intention may start to emerge organically.

Using prompts and questions can also be helpful. You could begin with one or more broad questions, such as:

• What do I hope to get out of today?
• How am I feeling today?
• What concerns or aims might I have?
• What moment from today stands out as gratifying? Why?
• What moment stands out as troubling? Why?

Another technique is to construct an inventory of your first thoughts or final thoughts each day. The following day, you return to these reflections, considering whether the emotions and experiences seem familiar or unfamiliar to you, and then considering why that is.

Beyond general reflection, using prompts related to self-discovery, self-care and the nature of spirituality can help you begin to chart out future courses of action and spiritual practice. Some examples you might find useful include:

• What does spirituality mean to me?
• When do I feel most spiritual? Why? How would I describe this experience to someone else?
• When am I the most content? Most upset? Most at peace? And most angered?
• What activities express my sense of self?
• What values and virtues do I want for myself and others?
• When I envision a future version of myself, what do I want that to look like?
• What purpose do I seek for myself?
• What do I find meaningful? Why?

If you’d like further support, you might consult a journaling guide, such as Mark G Boyer’s book Monthly Entries for the Spiritual but not Religious through the Year (2022). The website the Daily Compass offers ‘words and images to inspire spiritual reflection and encourage the creation of a more loving, inclusive and just world’.

For a different approach, construct lists of promises to yourself or intentions that you hope to act on. This presents an opportunity to identify aspects of your life that you hope to change or improve, as well as ways of being that you hope to cultivate. For example, if you find yourself struggling in relationships, you might make a promise to not leave important conversations without a resolution, or you might list an intention to engage more actively and openly with new communities.

Reflection, journaling and list-making can help to compel you forward as you seek to develop your spiritual wellbeing. They orient your understanding of spirituality and begin the process of determining which spiritual practices are most germane to your intentions and aspirations. You learn more about your spiritual needs, which can change depending on your circumstances and growth. As you reflect on where you stand and what you seek for yourself, you might realise, for example, that you want clarity on what is most meaningful for you, or that you need more connection to other people or nature. You can also identify areas of discontent, causes of unease, and moments that bring you a sense of inner peace and fulfilment. Once you have identified such things, you can then be proactive in introducing spiritual practices that fit your spiritual needs.

Religious systems commonly specify which tools and rituals they deem acceptable for cultivating spirituality. If you have broken free from these designations, you’ll want to reflect on what worked and what failed, what appeals to your sentiments and what clarifies your spiritual needs. Self-reflection can help you discover what spirituality means to you. In doing so, you uncover the essential clues and orientations necessary to move to the next step, which is actively learning more about spiritual practices and what makes sense for you.

See and hear what others have found spiritually fulfilling

To find new tools and insights essential to developing your spiritual practices, you must remain open to learning from the experiences of others. In learning more, you can identify elements that appeal or stultify, that open space for growth or that fail to connect to your specific aims. You can explore other people’s nonreligious spiritual experiences and practices through books, podcasts, documentaries, music or other routes, considering what resonates with the needs and desires that have emerged from your self-reflection.

Beyond identifying specific practices, remaining open to the experiences of others can also help break down barriers of misunderstanding and enhance empathy. By finding resonance with the reasons and usefulness that others emphasise, you clarify not just what you intend to practice, but why.

You might read memoirs, works of poetry or other books to explore the meaning of spirituality without religion. For example, Rachelle Mee-Chapman’s Relig-ish (2016) and Katherine Ozment’s Grace Without God (2016) offer personal and critical explorations of nonreligious rituals and practices, both highlighting new ways of finding meaning, purpose and community outside the purview of religion. The Awakened Brain (2021) combines Lisa Miller’s personal story with her groundbreaking research on the neuroscience of spirituality. In Reba Riley’s book Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: One Woman’s Desperate, Funny, and Healing Journey to Explore 30 Religions by Her 30th Birthday (2015), what ultimately emerges is an individualised approach to understanding the spiritual orientations that matter most. Grounded in their own experiences and infused with wisdom gleaned from others, Catherine A Stafford and Gil W Stafford’s book Walking with the Spiritual but Not Religious (2022) describes spiritual paths, rituals and practices for those who have left a religious tradition.

Other people’s life stories can be especially helpful for understanding what leads others to certain expressions of spirituality. Joining a reading group or online community of spiritual searchers can also prove effective in this regard. Spiritual Forums, for example, brings together a diverse community to explore various spiritual topics, with specific areas dedicated to alternative spiritual practices. If you are looking for something more formal, Nearness is an online community launched to foster connections among the spiritual but not religious. It offers 10-week online courses for small groups to discuss spiritual pursuits and practices outside of traditional religious institutions and systems. Another way to connect through shared reading is to consider starting a book club from other communities you already engage with. For example, if you already attend yoga classes, you might suggest post-yoga get-togethers to discuss books about spirituality, or spirituality in general.

Social media and YouTube videos (eg, TED Talks) contain an almost endless train of spiritual ideas and stories. So too with podcasts, which can help you better understand and unpack concepts and practices. Some podcasts also provide experiential invitations, such as guided meditations or participation in daily affirmations. The podcast On Being with Krista Tippett includes conversations with people such as meditation experts and artists, exploring fundamental questions about life, purpose, meaning and being human. In Inner Work: A Spiritual Growth Podcast, Josephine Hardman guides listeners through various topics, including uncovering the motivation to enhance your spiritual life. Calm World, a podcast hosted by the neuroscientist Ash Ranpura and the comedian Alice Fraser, introduces listeners to the science, history and culture of meditation.

In reading, listening to podcasts, and/or watching videos, you are equipping yourself with varied options. In one instance, you might be introduced to nontheistic prayer, a type of ritualising of your intentions, aims and hopes. Prayer can function quite meaningfully in secular settings without referencing any sense of divinity or religiosity. Whereas religious prayer, especially within monotheistic religions such as Christianity or Islam, seeks connection to an omnipotent God, nontheistic prayer opens space to connect to your higher self, the rest of humanity or the universe. An example from my household, where we are raising four children without religion, is saying a collective prayer at dinner or before bed that asks for love, acceptance and growth for ourselves, for someone we know personally, for strangers and for the earth as a whole. Another form of prayer could be a solo conversation in which you describe how you are feeling and the needs you see for yourself and for others.

In other cases, the practitioners you learn from might explain the value they find in tarot cards, or the peace instilled by communing with nature, which could include intentional hiking, planting seeds, or observing the stars. You may learn of rituals with a mixture of components, or formulate your own based on what you’ve encountered. For example, under the glow of a full moon, you could write a letter of intention, or a note about letting go. Sitting with that, you might also say a mindful prayer about what you hope for, or about why it’s time to move on. A ritual such as this one might provide the guidance you need to move into action, or the willingness to forgive and turn the page on a difficult time.

As you encounter new spiritual ideas and tools, pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that arise for you. But do not feel that you must jump quickly to conclusions about what you find. In other words, do not read an article, watch a video, or listen to a podcast and immediately assume that you have uncovered your truth and your practice. In this early stage, the aim is to seek moments of learning, which requires being open to receiving wisdom by putting away preconceived notions and pre-emptive thoughts.

Explore your options further and get involved

Only by trying spiritual practices yourself can you discover their efficacy for you. Unlike with religion, which often embraces an entrenched system of practice and belief, spiritual practices outside religion remain ever-adaptable, capable of being changed in response to your circumstances. In this step, I’ll describe examples of practices that you may (or may not) be drawn to, and how you might approach trying them out.

From solo mindfulness meditation to nontheistic prayers (we might also call these affirmations or intentions), some of the rituals I’ve already described could serve as worthwhile additions to your routine. You could commit to engaging in these practices at regular intervals (eg, once a day), or use them on an as-needed basis. It is also valuable, though, to pursue spiritual practices that extend beyond self-reflection. A core aspect of spirituality outside the purview of religion is the sense of connection to something more than oneself, which often manifests in relationships to other people and/or the natural world.

Activities such as gardening literally bring you into contact with the world that sustains us. Gardening, of course, can be seen as simply a chore. However, practices emerge as ‘spiritual’ as a result of intention. In other words, what you hope to gain in pursuing the practice ultimately determines its spiritual value. If you were to pursue gardening with the intention of enhancing the wellbeing of nature or strengthening your connection with nature, then the very acts of pulling weeds or planting flowers can provide a source of spiritual growth and assurance.

Want to explore other forms of nature-related spiritual practice? Don’t just spend time in nature – be with nature. Make this a ritual, something that you incorporate on a consistent basis in an intentional way. Set aside time daily or weekly to walk in the grass with your bare feet, or wade into a shallow body of water. Feel the warmth of the sun shining down upon you, or the cool mist of rain. Listen to the sounds of nature and attend to the smells. Pay attention to the rhythm of nature and allow yourself to wander in order to wonder. Give yourself the gift of grace to simply be – this can help you disconnect from worry, quiet the mind, and remind you that spirituality demands more than self-growth.

Exploring new spiritual practices can, at times, feel isolating; so, consider joining groups that have a focus on spirituality. Communities offer accountability and introduce a space where you can continually adapt and identify new practices. You might find that both your understanding of spirituality and your intention with spiritual practices improve in the presence of others.

You could join a meditation club, which often includes guided sessions as you work to train your mind. Regular meditation can help you achieve enhanced levels of self-awareness and heightened states of relaxation that bolster your ability to meet daily challenges. A group setting can provide encouragement as well as insight into different modes of meditation. If you’d like some guidance on practising meditation outside the context of a club or class, there are also plenty of resources available online, including podcasts such as Sharon Salzberg’s Metta Hour Podcast (see other examples in the Links and Books section below). There are also a number of apps that can help you find moments each day to engage in mindfulness meditation. Headspace, Insight Timer and Smiling Mind are especially popular, and provide an array of practices at varying levels of cost.

In the first step, I described journaling as a way to prepare yourself for exploring spiritual practices, but regular journaling can be a spiritual practice in itself. One approach is to set aside some time each day to simply write down your thoughts as they emerge. Your writing could also include charting what you are grateful for and what you hope to achieve, or labelling and acknowledging emotions or concerns as they arise.

Various forms of body movement can constitute spiritual practices. Movement amplifies your intuition, deepens your connection to your body, and can promote a positive outlook. Yoga encompasses a collection of physical, mental and spiritual practices; it also, very typically, occurs within a group setting. For many, running is said to provide a kind of spiritual rush. It is time spent with yourself, and it can incorporate other spiritual practices, such as mindfulness meditation, in an effort to draw out the significance of attending to your health. When it’s done outside, running (or other physical rituals) provide another means to feel deeply connected to nature.

Activities such as dancing, singing, and creating art can also be spiritual practices when undertaken with the aim of opening yourself up to new ways of engaging with yourself and others. Creative activities also propel you into new modes of envisioning the world as it is and as you hope it could be. Spiritual practices are designed to meet spiritual needs, but what your particular needs are – and how they relate to your understanding of your body, mind and spirit – are ultimately for you to determine.

Consider, too, how service – attending to the needs and circumstances of other humans, other animals and our natural world – can provide opportunities for spiritual growth and practice. Specific examples include volunteering at a local hospital, food pantry, community centre, animal shelter or community garden. Even more locally, you could intentionally seek moments to aid friends, family and neighbours by helping with a project or task, or providing gestures of support – eg, taking a friend out for coffee and focusing the conversation on their current experience and needs. Make yourself vulnerable as well by sharing about your own growth and trepidations. Taken together, such moments remind us of the importance of each living thing, and strengthen our bonds to one another.

Reflect on which practices best meet your needs

Wherever your journey takes you, recognise the process as ongoing and dynamic. Continue to take time to learn from others and work through the value of your practices. At certain points, some practices will prove to be more effective than others; be open to reconsidering and adjusting to find what works best. To do so, consider specifically and mindfully the practices that you have incorporated so far, the impacts you perceive, and the value you experience. This is not about validating or invalidating any particular practice, but rather considering what is working for you and meeting the spiritual aims and needs that you’ve identified, and what warrants being a routine practice in your life.

You can undertake this step in a variety of ways. One is to write down a list of pros and cons for each practice, considering not only how it connects to your spiritual needs, but also whether it fits within the expectations and space of your daily life. Talk with others to help you unpack the ‘what’, ‘how’ and ‘why’ of the practices you have tried. In sharing, you not only receive insight from others but may clarify for yourself the reasons and values you associate with each practice.

Consider writing out your daily or weekly spiritual routines and intended practices. Do the practices that you’ve explored fit well with your needs? If so, how often do you find each practice necessary or fulfilling?

As you will likely find, some practices might prove effective but require time or even financial commitments that make them challenging to keep up. Other practices might prove quite effective early in your journey, but not work as well as routine activities. Be open to experimenting with new practices, scaling back others, and regularising the ones you find especially impactful.

The aim is not to find a single, fixed path or spiritual practice. It is to develop a holistic approach to your spiritual wellbeing – one that makes your spiritual path both connected to the paths of others and uniquely yours.

Links & books

The website Spirituality and Practice is a fruitful source for exploring 260 classic and informal spiritual practices through their ‘Spiritual Practice Toolkit’.

As mentioned earlier, podcasts not only provide a way to learn about spiritual practices, they also create opportunities for direct engagement with specific exercises. For those new to mindfulness and meditation, Mary Meckley’s Daily Meditation Podcast or Mindfulness for Beginners hosted by Shaun Donaghy are great educational resources and provide listeners access to various guided practices. One of my favourite podcasts is the Rubin Museum of Art’s Mindfulness Meditation; it combines analysis of Himalayan art and ideas with guided meditation sessions that use the artwork as inspiration.

The mindfulness teacher Tara Brach’s website and the Mindful website offer a variety of resources for beginners, including many free meditations as well as courses.

For those seeking community, consider watching the video ‘The Rise of Atheist Churches?’ (2019) from the YouTube channel ReligionForBreakfast, or check out the websites of specific groups such as the Seattle Atheist Church or the Sunday Assembly Detroit. You can also explore online groups: see the website of the Center for Non-Religious Spirituality, which offers various resources (both paid and free) and an online community for making connections and discovering new practices.

If you are interested in enhancing your connection to nature, visit the website of the Spiritual Naturalist Society, which offers a range of tools, including virtual and in-person events, a robust online community, courses and an archived podcast, which includes episodes that address alternative spiritual practices, such as reading or art as spiritual practice.

In my experience, central to nonreligious spiritual practice is enhancing a sense of connection to self. You might use the ‘30-Minute Body Scan’ recording from TCOYH to try a guided body scan; read the work of Hillary McBride, who writes about the value of connecting with our bodies to live fuller lives, or Susan Aposhyan’s writing on embodied spiritual practices; or explore Christina Hibbert’s website, which includes an entire section dedicated to ‘the mind-body-spirit connection’, and Amy Torres’s website dedicated to ‘embodied spirituality’.

Some book-length self-help guides that attend directly to spiritual practices for the nonreligious include Thomas Moore’s book A Religion of One’s Own: A Guide to Creating a Personal Spirituality in a Secular World (2014) and Rick Heller’s book Secular Meditation: 32 Practices for Cultivating Inner Peace, Compassion, and Joy (2015).

The book Soulfull: A Weekly Devotional to Nourish the Mind, Body, and Spirit (2023) by Farrell Mason provides a collection of provocations, recipes, activities and prayers for spiritual direction and growth.

Anne Bokma’s book My Year of Living Spiritually: From Woo-Woo to Wonderful – One Woman’s Secular Quest for a More Soulful Life (2019) is another fine example of how memoirs can provide a roadmap for practices that lead to greater depth of meaning, connection, gratitude and inner peace.

This Guide was made possible through the support of a grant to Aeon Media from the John Templeton Foundation. The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Foundation. Funders to Aeon Media are not involved in editorial decision-making.