What to do
Enjoy laughing at humour alone
It can take a bit of practice to get used to the idea of laughing alone. One easy way to get started is to think about how you might include more humour in your life (as I’ve said, you can certainly have laughter without humour, but this is a good place to get started). To do this, you might want to try out some of the seven ‘humour habits’ devised by the American psychologist Paul McGhee, one of the pioneers of humour research, in his book Humor as Survival Training for a Stressed-Out World (2010).
First, he suggests surrounding yourself with humour. This involves figuring out exactly what your sense of humour is, and thinking about how you might include more of it in your life. For example, I recommend watching funny films and listening to comedians. Download films that make you really laugh and re-watch them: the good ones will make you laugh again and again. You can watch YouTube clips that give a quick giggle: two of my personal favourites are Monty Python’s ‘Ministry of Silly Walks’ (1970) sketch and Paddington Bear flooding the bathroom in the 2014 film – but there are thousands of others. The Three Stooges’ pie-throwing sketch (1930) always cracks me up; just find what works for you. You can also read up on funny jokes – there are lots of family-friendly ones available online. Here’s one of my favourites: ‘As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans.’ The more you invite humour into your life, the more likely you are to laugh.
McGhee’s second suggestion is to try to cultivate a playful attitude at work and at home. Try to find the fun in things, and to get more enjoyment from what you’re doing in the moment. I find this helps move me into a favourable frame of mind. Think of this like warming up before any physical exercise – here, you’re getting your body and your emotions ready to laugh.
The third habit is to intentionally try to laugh more often and more heartily. It can be challenging to laugh out loud when you’re alone, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Aim for laughter that feels and sounds playful, joyful and natural, and try different styles – there isn’t only one way to do it right. For instance, belly laughs are great, but other types of laughter can be beneficial too. And remember, it doesn’t matter if it’s a little forced at first (I don’t use the word ‘fake’ – all laughs are real, just produced by different vocal systems). Self-induced laughter can get a bad rap, but research indicates that it can be even more effective for health and wellbeing than the spontaneous kind.
McGhee also recommends looking for humour in everyday life – for example, by putting up ‘What’s funny about this?’ reminders around the house, or by asking friends what they find funny. You can have a laugh at silly typos, or at the shape of a vegetable in your garden or fridge, or at the antics of your pet – whatever works. You just need to be open to seeing the humour in the everyday things around you. This also applies to situations that might be embarrassing or stressful: McGhee also recommends taking yourself lightly, laughing at yourself when you can, and trying to find humour in the midst of stress.
Once you’ve tried out some of these steps, you might want to try reading some jokes – for example, look up the Dad Jokes Twitter feed. Here’s another one I like: ‘I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.’ If you’re already laughing at that and you’re alone, then well done, you’ve scored 100 per cent! If you’re not quite there yet, you might want to try another of McGhee’s seven habits, one I missed in the list above: creating your own verbal humour.
Train your own comedy skills
Creating your own jokes can be a fun way to have a good laugh. McGhee has a lot of suggestions. One is creating ‘daffynitions’, a pun involving the reinterpretation of existing words. For example, you can spot humour in language ambiguity – eg, ‘aperitif’ for a set of dentures, or ‘funghi’ for a guy who knows how to have a good time. Another idea is to try building jokes using exaggeration, for example: ‘I had a cavity so deep that my dentist sent me to see a podiatrist.’
If you’re keen to hone your skills further, you could explore humour in more depth. For example, in his book The Art of Comedy Writing (2011), the American communications scholar Arthur Asa Berger describes 45 different humour techniques. They fall under four categories: language (eg, exaggerations, misunderstanding, satire); logic (eg, coincidence, disappointment, ignorance), identity (eg, exposure, mimicry, caricature); and action (eg, chase, slapstick, speed). These ideas can help you understand your own sense of humour, as well as give you some prompts for writing original jokes.
If you do have a go at creating your own comedy, you can laugh either at the brilliance or the sheer cringiness of your humour. Then share it with others for more laughs. We all have jokes in us, however silly they might seem; if they get you laughing, that’s enough. And it’s worth persevering: the psychologist Willibald Ruch and colleagues at the University of Zurich trained a group of adults in McGhee’s seven humour habits programme, and found that humour can indeed be trained. Compared with a control group, participants who completed the eight-week training programme reported that their mood improved and they took themselves less seriously – and, importantly, close friends rated that their sense of humour had improved too.
Laugh with others using humour
You can try a lot of the above ideas with others, and it will likely be easier that way, since laughter is contagious and a natural social activity. For example, you could try creating jokes with friends and family. Everyone should have the chance to have a go, and you can then share the results with each other. When you listen to other people’s ideas, try to appreciate their value. It’s easy to criticise the efforts of others, but humour isn’t easy to get right, so do encourage them. It’s more fun if you end up laughing together than telling them that their joke isn’t funny. (This reminds me of a joke about PMS, but that’s not funny. Period.)
You can also share humour with friends virtually – you don’t need to be with others physically to laugh with them. You can laugh when you send them jokes and funny videos – and, if you’re lucky, you might get some back (do laugh out loud if you can). Whatever you share, bear in mind humour etiquette: before sharing your side-splitting joke, ask yourself if it will make people feel good or might cause problems. A little sarcasm or biting wit can be funny but, if in doubt, enjoy it alone. Aim for ha-ha, not nah-nah!
Laugh with others without humour
If you don’t want to rely on corny jokes, or if you worry whether others will get the punchline, then remember: you don’t actually need a funny stimulus to laugh with your friends. In fact, social laughter is often less about humour and more about bonding. In one study, the American psychologist Robert Provine observed 1,200 examples of spontaneous laughter in natural conversations, and noted what the speaker had said immediately before the listener laughed. He found that only 10 to 15 per cent of prelaugh comments could be described as ‘remotely humorous’. Much more often, people laughed in response to banal comments such as ‘It was nice meeting you, too,’ or ‘Where have you been?’ Not exactly side-splitting… In Provine’s words, most prelaugh dialogue ‘is like that of an interminable television situation comedy scripted by an extremely ungifted writer’.
The funny thing – excuse the pun – is that this sort of laughter can be enjoyable. And it’s an important finding because it shows us that it doesn’t really matter what we laugh about – what matters is that we’re laughing. What’s also surprising is that Provine found that speakers laugh more than listeners do. So add in a little laugh when you talk, and make an effort to laugh back when you hear someone laughing. But make sure it feels appropriate, as laughing out loud when you, say, first meet someone might alarm them.
There are also a number of more formal practices where you can laugh with others without humour. The first of these is laughter yoga, which can reduce symptoms of depression and feelings of loneliness. Laughter yoga was invented by the medical doctor Madan Kataria in India in 1995. Initially, people laughed by telling jokes, but the jokes got old quickly and it seemed that some were inappropriate. But then Kataria saw that jokes weren’t needed, because once one person had laughed, others started laughing too. Today, laughter yoga integrates a range of playful movements and exercises (no hard yoga poses) – for example, participants are encouraged to speak ‘gibberish’ (nonsense talk) to get the laughter flowing. You can even get started at home by trying some online videos – one study found that seven days of home practice improved participants’ mood. Less well-known is laughing qigong, in which a series of breathing and body movements are paired with simulated laughter – here’s a demonstration by the Taoist master Mantak Chia. One study found that mood and humour levels improved in a group of adolescents who took an eight-week course, compared with a control group who read or did their homework.
