How to understand your inner critic

6 MINUTES

The critic inside your head has something important to tell you. Here’s how to listen

The US psychotherapist Richard Schwartz is the architect of internal family systems therapy (IFS) – a therapeutic model centred on the idea that our inner worlds contain multiple distinctive sub-personalities that constantly interact, not unlike a family unit. In this brief video interview, the Belgian American psychotherapist Esther Perel interviews Schwartz about one of these sub-personalities that many of us often wish we could silence: our inner critic. Working from his IFS framework, Schwartz proposes that instead of fighting the loud critical voice in our heads, we approach it with curiosity as we try to understand its motivations, which are usually protective. In doing so, Schwartz argues, we might also better understand and come to terms with the critical voices in our lives beyond our internal worlds.

Video by Esther Perel

Explore more

A blue bowl with quinoa, chickpeas, chopped onions, greens and a wooden spoon on a dark background.

How to adventure beyond the same old foods

Most of us develop comfort zones with food. Expand your palate and discover new flavours, techniques and connections

by Nina Mukerjee Furstenau

Photo of an elderly man speaking at a podium with a microphone onstage, wearing a dark suit and glasses.

James Earl Jones reads Kurt Vonnegut on why art is central to a meaningful life

Video by Letters Live

Photo of two women in a kitchen, one peeling a potato while smiling the other focused on cooking, with a mortar in view.

We’re naturally bad at predicting what will make us happy. Here’s how to adjust

Video by The Well

Two clay faces with minimal features lying on a dark surface in a close-up photograph.

A woman must break apart to make herself whole in this surreal, stunning animation

Directed by Chu-Chieh Lee

Painting of a woman in a dark kimono with a bow in her hair, looking at her reflection in a dimly lit mirror.

Self-hatred feeds on inner shame. Here’s how to break the cycle

Shame swamps any redeeming traits you might have thought you had. Slow down to interrupt the loops that cause self-hatred

by Troy Seagraves

Illustration of a room with a plant on a table, soft coloured walls and a window with curtains.
POETRY

‘You are me; I am you’ – a trans poet’s evocative message to her former self

Video by On Being

People in a small, well-lit Japanese restaurant or bar, with a menu on the wall and beverages on the counter.

A little Japanese trick for saying ‘no’

If an outright refusal feels rude but you don’t want to have to explain, here’s how to say ‘no’ the Japanese way

by Richard Fisher

A child looking out a window, hand pressed against the glass, supported by an adult holding their back, in a warmly lit room with partially-closed curtains.
OCD

Fears about being a dangerous or immoral person can fuel OCD

Intrusive thoughts about doing bad things are common, but for people with OCD they provoke deep fears about the self

by Richard Moulding & Kelvin (Shiu Fung) Wong