How to recover from burnout

Need to know

‘I’m exhausted.’ As a clinical psychologist who specialises in burnout and chronic stress, I hear these two words frequently. Many people around the world are under chronic stress these days, and burnout is rampant. Perhaps you are going through it yourself. If so, you might see elements of your experience in mine.

For me, burnout happened when I was working as a psychologist on a medical team, in a hospital setting. My workload was demanding, and I was having trouble keeping up – with patients, trainees and ceaseless administrative work. I had two young children at home, so my downtime was limited, and I always felt as if I was dropping too many balls, both at home and at work. Without realising it, I got to the point where I was emotionally drained and disengaged from my work – work that I normally love. I felt like I was going through the motions, instead of feeling my usual level of passion and enthusiasm. I started to get irritated by little things. I was utterly depleted. It took me a while to recognise what was going on and why I was feeling this way.

Once I realised I was burned out, I started making some changes. I tried being more realistic about what I expected from myself. I got better about setting boundaries and saying no to extra work. I reengaged with my coworkers, and talked to supportive people about what I was going through. And I started to prioritise caring for myself, giving myself more time and space to rest and recharge.

Eventually, I recovered from burnout. My energy for work came back, and I started to care again. My bleak outlook changed. There were still times when my work was difficult – that’s life! But my feelings about my work became more balanced. I returned to feeling like myself. Since then, I’ve had periods of high stress, and times when exhaustion started creeping up on me again. But now I’m better equipped to deal with those periods, because of everything I’ve learned about burnout. In this Guide, I will tell you some of what I’ve learned, and share ideas and strategies I’ve found helpful for myself and my clients.

What is burnout, and who’s at risk?

Although the word ‘burnout’ is used frequently and most people have an intuitive understanding of what it is, it’s important to know what the condition really entails. As the World Health Organization defines it, burnout typically has three dimensions:

• a state of energy depletion or exhaustion
• mental distance, or feelings of cynicism or negativity toward work
• feeling less effective than usual in a work role

Burnout is not considered a medical condition or mental health disorder. Rather, it is described as an ‘occupational phenomenon’ that occurs in response to chronic work stress. This is important because if you are burned out, you might pathologise your experience, assuming there’s something ‘wrong’ with you when you are, in fact, having a normal human reaction to unremitting stress. Over time, too much stress can wear you down and lead to exhaustion and disengagement.

Burnout is commonly associated with paid employment, but it can also happen in other roles, such as caregiver, parent, student, activist or athlete. I like to think of ‘work role’ broadly – as any role, paid or unpaid, in which you engage in goal-directed effort for a specific outcome. Many types of work roles can be demanding and stressful and, while they each have their own unique features, they are similar in terms of the burnout experience, and in terms of how to recover.

Anyone who is experiencing chronic work stress can develop burnout – people of any age, gender or socioeconomic standing, and from all walks of life – but there does seem to be greater risk for those who:

• invest a lot of their time and energy into their work
• have jobs where they must interact with people – such as customer service jobs, or helping professions like social work and teaching
• frequently work in emotionally charged situations, like emergency response or other high-pressure or high-conflict settings
• have a high workload, or have too many demands and/or too few resources
• work on competitive or uncooperative teams, or in workplaces that are unsupportive of employee wellbeing
• feel unappreciated or undervalued at work
• hold personal values that don’t match those of their organisation
• work in industries such as healthcare, where there is a cumulation of these types of factors

Burnout is not your fault, but you can do something about it

Burnout always happens in the context of chronic stress, and we live and work in stressful times. Around the world, we have recently faced a pandemic, wars, economic uncertainty, fears about the climate crisis, political unrest and more. Many of us experience culturally driven problems with workplace culture, pressure to achieve and limited opportunity to rest. This is certainly the case in the United States, where I live, and in many other places as well. These factors all contribute to chronic stress. If you are experiencing burnout, it’s not your fault. It’s a product of the broader cultural, historical and economic contexts in which you live.

Fortunately, even though burnout isn’t your fault, there are things you can do to get to a better place. Sometimes the experience of burnout can be transformed with some internal, psychological shifts, and sometimes it requires some important changes in external circumstances. Whether you are currently burned out and looking for strategies to recover, or are worried that the weight of chronic stress will soon tip you toward burnout, there are steps you can take now to set yourself on a different course. It starts with recognising the problem.

What to do

Recognise the signs

It can be easy to overlook the signs of burnout when it’s developing. When I experienced burnout, it took me months to realise what was happening. I felt ‘off’ – tired, stressed, less enthusiastic about my work than usual – but didn’t recognise it as burnout. Instead, I blamed myself for being unable to keep up and for being so emotionally drained.

These days, I pay attention to signals that my stress level is starting to get too high and that it’s starting to impact me. My first indicator is that I begin to wake up in the middle of the night and lie awake with worry and stress. I also notice preoccupation with work, and feeling that I can’t stop working, even on weekends. When I notice these signs, I look at my situation and start thinking about what needs to change before my stress gets worse and leads to burnout.

To be more aware of burnout (or potential burnout), ask yourself questions like these:

• What are the early indicators that you might be under too much stress? Have you noticed any changes that tend to occur when your stress level is high, such as changes in your relationships, sleep, eating or work habits? Do you notice any changes in your mood or thinking patterns, such as more irritability, worry or self-criticism? What do you notice happening in your body when you are under a high level of stress? For instance, you might notice that you carry tension in your shoulders, feel jittery and antsy, or have trouble focusing.
• Based on the criteria described in the Need to Know section above, what might burnout look like for you? Do you frequently feel exhausted? Emotionally disengaged? Cynical? More self-critical than usual? All of the above?
• What would someone else observe about your outward behaviour if you were highly stressed or burned out? Do you see yourself exhibiting these behaviours?

Once you have identified that you are (or might be) experiencing burnout, you can start to think about what types of changes might help you, and consider implementing some of the suggestions that will follow.

For some people, burnout can be severe and long lasting, and can coincide with a mental health condition such as depression, anxiety or a substance use disorder. It can also be associated with symptoms like hopelessness or suicidal thoughts, or physical symptoms such as changes in appetite or weight, gastrointestinal problems or frequent headaches. If you are experiencing symptoms such as these, I recommend that you speak with a licensed health professional about them, in addition to considering the other advice in this Guide. If you think you are still in the early stages of burnout, don’t wait! Use this as an opportunity to take action before it becomes more severe.

Rethink what stress means and how you respond to it

Some degree of stress is a normal and expected part of an engaged life. At moderate levels, it can help motivate you to take action and feel energised. The problem is that stress can also drive inflexible and ineffective behaviour patterns, and these can contribute to burnout.

Some common ways of trying to reduce stress often help in the short term, but not so much in the longer term. For example, some people overwork in response to stress, thinking that if they work harder, they will eventually outrun the stress, catch up on their work, and be less busy. They might feel productive for a while, but this perpetuates the cycle of overwork. Or, people try to deal with stress by procrastinating, or seeking comfort through alcohol, cannabis, social media or the like – things that feel good in the moment, but often increase stress and contribute to exhaustion later.

While these behaviours make sense, because they are ways of trying to cope with stress, avoidance and control rarely help much in the long run. If you have engaged in these or similar ways of coping, you can start the process of responding differently by taking a different point of view about stress. Rather than looking at stress as the enemy, you can view it as part of life and – when it’s gotten very high – as an indicator that you might benefit from slowing down, as we’ll discuss in subsequent steps.

Get some perspective on burnout-related thoughts

In my work as a therapist, I have noticed that people with burnout are often stuck in unhelpful thought patterns that amplify the pressure they feel. For instance, someone might believe that their worth is tied to their productivity and think that they can’t take a break from working. They may also be self-critical about their work, worry about getting everything done, or compare themselves unfavourably to their coworkers. They might think that they deserve blame for not doing enough and for struggling with burnout.

The problem with these thoughts is not that we have them; the problem is when we start to believe them.

If you find yourself stuck in these types of thoughts, it can help to take a step back and recognise that they are just thoughts, passing through your mind. To do this, start by labelling such thoughts when they appear: you might refer to them internally as ‘burnout thoughts’ or ‘self-critical thoughts’. Then, try to observe what’s happening in your mind as you would observe an animal in the wild – from a distance. Notice that your mind is just doing what human minds do best – giving you a running monologue of internal chatter – and remember that you do not have to give these thoughts too much power over you. Your thoughts do not have to run your life. For instance, you can have the thought ‘I can’t afford to take a break’, and still choose to take a break anyway.

Many such thoughts – like those related to productivity, rest and ‘laziness’ – reflect culturally driven narratives that you likely have internalised. When they pop up, you can remind yourself that, most likely, these are mere opinions rather than facts, and they are definitely not the whole story. Getting some space from burnout-related thoughts and narratives can help you to unhook from the ones that are not serving you well.

Practise saying no and setting boundaries

People who are prone to burnout often have trouble saying no. On the upside, they are often caring, wonderful people who like to help out, work hard, and do nice things for others. But a pattern of people-pleasing can contribute to burnout. If you don’t say no and don’t set limits, you can easily end up overworked and overcommitted. You may end up feeling drained by relationships that demand too much of you, and unsure of how to untangle yourself.

If this description seems familiar, consider the possibility that you could benefit from setting better boundaries. It might be helpful to set new boundaries with your workload, such as by keeping more reasonable limits on your work hours or taking on less extra work when possible. For example, if you work in an environment where people are encouraged (either subtly or overtly) to work unreasonably long hours, you can set a boundary by stopping work at the end of the day. Even if your boss is working late, and you are worried about disapproval, you can walk out the door or log off your computer at the time when your work day is officially over. You can choose not to respond to those 11pm messages until the next morning, sending a signal that you aren’t willing to work around the clock. (And if doing so is a regular expectation, and your boundaries aren’t respected, then at that point it might be worth considering a job change.)

Similarly, you can decide to stop at a ‘good enough’ point in your tasks, when possible, even if your work isn’t absolutely perfect. And in some work roles, it’s possible to selectively choose projects or assignments you work on instead of opting to take on everything that comes your way.

There are other worthwhile ways to set boundaries in your interactions with people, especially people who tend to drain your energy. You can practise saying no to optional requests that you don’t have time for, and work on taking less responsibility for keeping everyone else happy. You can speak up for your own needs, including by asking for help and support when you could use it. Constantly putting the needs of others before your own can eventually wear you out.

Tune into your emotions rather than avoiding them

Part of the experience of burnout is emotional disconnection. You might find yourself bottling up or avoiding your feelings, running on autopilot, or ‘checking out’ from your present experience. In this state, you are psychologically inflexible, rather than emotionally engaged, aware and intentional.

To reconnect with your experience in a meaningful way, you can practise tuning into your emotions and making room for them – even the uncomfortable ones like fear and sadness – instead of pushing them away. Reconnecting with your full emotional experience can provide you with a greater sense of vitality, which is a refreshing change after being burned out and disengaged. It can also help free you from struggling against your emotions.

Practise tuning into the present moment, instead of acting on autopilot, distracted by thoughts about the past and future. You can try it right now, pausing to notice how you feel. Scan through your body, from your toes to the top of your head, and notice what sensations you feel at each point along the way. Then, tune into your emotional experience by noticing what you feel. Label the emotions that are present for you right now. Describe them, and notice where you feel them in your body. For instance, you might notice tension in your shoulders and say to yourself ‘I’m feeling overwhelmed’, or notice a tingling sensation in your chest, and say to yourself ‘I’m feeling angry.’ Allow your emotions, whatever they may be, to be there, and simply notice them. Acknowledge that they will come and go, like waves in the ocean, as they always do.

The skills of openness and awareness can not only change your relationship with the feeling of stress; they can help you make more intentional choices in how you respond to the stress. Instead of doubling down on stress by working harder, you can – having recognised and accepted its presence – choose to take a break, or to get some sleep. Or, instead of procrastinating to avoid a challenging emotion that work is stirring in you, you can intentionally choose to finish some of the work that needs to be done, and then turn to something else. You can be more flexible in choosing the most effective response to the situation at hand, even if it’s not always comfortable to do so.

Reconnect with meaning and purpose

When you are burned out, you feel disconnected from the meaningful aspects of your work – even if you normally love your job. A sense of meaning, purpose and vitality goes missing. To me, this disconnection is the biggest cost of burnout. Life is short, and you don’t want to miss it because you are disengaged.

Try reconnecting with the big-picture reasons why you are doing the type of work you do. Make a practice of reflecting (either in your mind, through writing, or verbally by talking with someone) on what matters to you about your work. It is likely that you chose your work because you care about it in some way, or because you care about what you get out of it. Maybe the work itself is purposeful and makes a positive contribution to the world. Perhaps your job provides you with an opportunity to use your skills and feel proud of your work. Tapping into reasons such as these can be especially helpful when you’ve lost touch with a sense of caring about your work.

If you feel that your work is out of line with your values, or that there is no longer any purpose to the work you are doing, it might be time to consider the possibility of pivoting to a more meaningful and values-aligned type of work, if you can. But for now, at least, you could consider looking at your work in a different way: perhaps it provides you with a pay cheque that supports you and your family, or the kind of life you want, and that, in itself, offers a sense of purpose.

You can also tap into smaller, meaningful moments throughout your day. First, ask yourself what kinds of moments are meaningful to you. What gives you a spark of vitality? For example, it could be the experience of connecting with someone at work, or giving yourself some space for creative expression in the morning before you start on other tasks, or (if you’re a parent) devoting some time to having fun with your child in between the day’s demands. When you have the choice, try to spend less time on tasks that are unimportant to you and seek out more of those meaningful moments. And when you do, see if you can slow down and experience those moments more fully.

Carve out time for activities that help you recharge

When I’m busy and stressed, the first things that go on the back burner are the very things I probably need most. I undervalue sleep, and I feel like I don’t have time to exercise. And, of course, sleep and exercise both help me recharge and cope with stress more effectively. Caring for myself doesn’t always seem very important, though, when I am busy and behind with work.

I recommend taking an inventory of your daily routine and habits. Think about behaviours that help you recharge and cope with stress better – both those that help you feel energised (like exercise or having fun with friends) and those that help you feel more relaxed (like a nap or a day off from work). Based on this inventory, make a list of two or three manageable things you could do today or tomorrow that feel recharging to you. Ideally, these are small, realistic steps that will work for you. Although it can be hard to find time when you are busy and stressed, try giving yourself permission to care for yourself by making some space in your schedule for these activities.

Next, think about the habits that tend to exacerbate your stress in the long term, or that leave you feeling even more depleted. Things like, possibly, alcohol, staying up too late, or scrolling through social media. Try intentionally choosing other behaviours instead, at least some of the time. Try having a glass of sparkling water instead of an after-work cocktail, or reaching for a book instead of your phone before bed.

Ask for support

I have noticed that people with burnout often feel isolated. They may feel uncomfortable sharing what they are going through or assume that they are alone with their struggles. They are often managing a large workload on their own, without enough support, and feel as if they can’t ask for help.

One of the best predictors of wellbeing is supportive relationships. Social support helps us get through tough times. So if I was to give you a single piece of advice for coping with burnout, it would be to reach out for support. It could come from a coworker, a friend or another person in your life. And sometimes professional support – perhaps from a therapist like me – can be helpful as well.

Start by telling someone you trust how you’re feeling. Ask them if they’ve ever been under chronic stress or if they have felt burned out. It can help to consider whether you need a particular kind of support: do you need a shoulder to cry on? Practical support at work or at home that will help relieve your stress? Or just someone to have some laughs and blow off steam with? It’s also OK if you don’t know what you need. Simply sharing your experience with a caring person can help you feel less alone, by tapping into a sense of common humanity with others who have felt this way. It can ease the burden of carrying your struggles alone.

Use burnout to spark growth and change

While I wouldn’t wish burnout on anyone, I do think that burnout experiences can sometimes inspire a person to make necessary changes in their life. Someone can reach a point of exhaustion where they realise that they can’t go on in the same way anymore. Perhaps your encounter with burnout will be the first time you truly learn to speak up for yourself or to say no to people who ask too much of you. Or you might be considering a big change, whether in your work or another area, and finally get to the point of taking action. Reckoning with burnout might lead you to look at your priorities and make some hard decisions about where you invest your time and energy. It might even inspire you to take action to improve an unhealthy work situation.

If you are experiencing burnout, I hope that you will use it as an opportunity to ask yourself some big, existential questions about your life. For instance:

• What is burnout telling you about your situation, and what can you learn about yourself?
• What are your most important values and priorities? Think about how your life is currently going. How well is your life aligned with what matters most to you?
• What changes – big and small – might help you get to a better place in your life?

Today, years after I experienced my most extreme burnout period, I look back at it as a blessing in disguise. The changes I made in response to it – learning to protect my time and energy, allowing myself rest, and other improvements – have helped me to this day. I have also found meaning in helping other people with burnout. My life now feels much better to me than the overly busy and stressful life I was living before.

Perhaps, someday, you too will look back at burnout as a blessing in disguise.

Links & books

For a deeper dive into the concepts in this Guide, check out my book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (2024). My podcast, Psychologists Off the Clock, covers burnout and related topics in psychology, and my blog features regular posts on burnout and other subjects.

Christina Maslach is a pioneer in burnout research, and her book The Burnout Challenge: Managing People’s Relationships with Their Jobs (2022), co-authored with the organisational psychologist Michael P Leiter, explores what managers and organisations can do to address the problem.

To learn more about the importance of social support, read the book The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (2023) by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, and the book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World (2020) by Vivek Murthy, the US surgeon general. For more on how to establish social connections, check out my previous Psyche Guide on ‘How to ask for help’ and Marisa G Franco’s Guide on ‘How to make friends as an adult’, and watch Adam Dorsay’s TED Talk ‘Friendships in Adulthood: 5 Things to Know’ (2021).

Cultural narratives on productivity and rest have recently started to change for the better, thanks to books like Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto (2022) by Tricia Hersey, Laziness Does Not Exist (2021) by Devon Price, and Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less (2016) by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang (the author of Psyche’s Guide on ‘How to rest well’). These authors can help you continue to rethink your assumptions about rest and its value.

Oliver Burkeman’s brilliant time-management book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals (2021) will inspire you to look at your priorities and make some difficult but important decisions about where to spend your precious time and energy. And Jodi Wellman’s book You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets (2024) will help you think through some existential questions about your life and what you do with it.