How to understand and cope with mood swings

Need to know

If experience is a song, mood is the bassline. As your thoughts and sensations flow by, it’s your mood that provides the emotional undercurrent. It predisposes you to respond in certain ways to a dynamic and changing world. If you’re in a positive mood, a beautiful sunset pulses with awe and appreciation; a first sip of coffee hums with comfort amid the morning’s busy schedule. Conversely, if you’re in a bad mood, forgetting your wallet while shopping immediately introduces sharp notes of gloom and irritation.

But what happens when the bassline doesn’t match the music? Let’s say you usually feel happy and energised at work, but today you find yourself oddly steeped in apathy and resentment. Or you finally book the trip to Italy you’ve always dreamed of, but find your excitement diminishing before a crescendo of worry. Because mood usually provides a fairly constant emotional backdrop, when it swings unpredictably, it can be uncomfortable for us and disconcerting for the people around us. We’re going to provide you with some practical ways to better understand and cope with these swings, but before we do, it is helpful to dwell on what moods are exactly.

The difference between emotions, moods and mood swings

To unpack what is happening when you or someone close to you experiences mood swings, it is worth thinking about the relationship between emotion and mood.

Emotions are deeply automated programmes that allow you to quickly coordinate your response to something that’s happened in the world around you or in your own mind. The strength of the emotion guides you as to how urgently you should act; the type of emotion cues you how to act. Emotions such as joy or anger compel you to engage; others, such as fear or disgust, prompt you to withdraw. Some emotions such as happiness or anxiety are energising, while others like calmness and dejection prompt you to conserve your energy. Emotions also guide your attention, either outwards (affection or surprise) or inwards (relaxation or sadness). With each emotion, we are given an immediate cue to action.

In contrast, mood represents the integration of emotion into a less immediate and broader attitude for how you relate to your experiences. Rather than triggering a specific reaction now, a happy mood makes you more receptive to humour, connection and exploration. A sad mood might make you more generally introspective and less likely to take risks. An angry mood might make you less patient for things that block your goals and therefore quicker to take offence. And an anxious mood might lead you to be more vigilant for threats and quicker to interpret ambiguous challenges as reasons for withdrawal and avoidance. In other words, moods prime our responses by influencing the types of emotions likely to be provoked by our experiences, which is especially important when there is ambiguity about how to respond to a situation.

Mood swings are therefore unusual because they represent a rapid change in our receptivity to the world, often without a clear instigating event. Following a mood swing, the whole polarity of experience shifts around you; the world’s possibilities flex and invert themselves without a clear cause. This is especially disconcerting because, while emotions fluctuate with circumstances, we usually expect our moods to provide stability and predictability – most of the time they smooth out the randomness of momentary experience rather than introduce a sense of disorientation.

Mood as an aspect of personality

Anyone’s mood can be shifted by a significant-enough experience or through the cumulative effect of more minor events. But whether and how often your mood changes is also closely tied to your personality and temperament. Certain traits such as neuroticism (the tendency toward negative emotions) and extraversion (the tendency toward positive emotions and excitement) can influence your mood stability.

Imagine an actor reading a scathing review of the opening night of his play. Regardless of his personality, the acerbic criticisms are likely to trigger an immediate negative emotional response – he might angrily throw the magazine in the bin or slump with disappointment in his chair. However, the impact on his mood will vary depending on his personality. If he’s low in neuroticism, he might quickly shrug off the bad news and retain his jovial mood with friends later that night. In contrast, if he is high in neuroticism, the bad news might plunge him into a funk lasting days, prompting him to ask his friends to leave him alone.

Mood swings can be a sign of a more serious underlying problem

While some people are naturally more prone to mood swings, at other times mood swings may be a response to unexpected triggers that disrupt the brain’s natural stabilising system. Stress, sleep deprivation, and certain medications or substances can all be culprits – many of us will have experienced the dark mood of a hangover! Although disconcerting, these mood swings are simply part of life – challenging but manageable with the right tools. Yet other times mood swings point to a more serious condition that won’t be resolved by a sandwich or nap, such as bipolar disorder, where emotional highs and lows are extreme and can significantly impact daily life.

If your mood has been less stable than usual lately (or for a while) and you’re finding it concerning, here are some practical steps for how to manage these swings – and how to tell the difference between those that are mundane and those that could signal something more serious going on.

What to do

Get to know your natural variation in mood

Take time to observe the rhythms of your mood and emotions – daily, weekly, and even across seasons. Any time you notice a shift in mood, note it in your diary along with any relevant background information, such as how you slept, what you ate, whether you exercised, and your stress levels.

Review your notes periodically and you might be surprised at the insights you uncover. Perhaps you’re more irritable after eating too much sugar or you feel down on days when you skipped a workout. Maybe you notice that a mood slump at certain times of the month could be due to hormonal changes, while a burst of background cheerfulness tends to accompany Friday afternoons and the expected relief of the weekend. Patterns like these may be influenced by everything from biology to lifestyle and relationships, and understanding these rhythms can demystify your mood shifts and how they shape your emotions.

As this awareness grows, you can learn to anticipate and more gracefully respond to shifts in your moods, and you might also begin to better understand similar swings in the people around you. You could begin planning high-energy activities for times when you are likely to be energetic, while creating boundaries to protect yourself (and others!) from times you know your moods might be more precarious or skew towards the negative.

Avoid unnecessary triggers – and try ‘sense foraging’

When you experience a particularly troubling mood shift, simply recognising it without self-criticism is the first step to handling it constructively. Then take a step back to reflect on potential causes. For example, if you’re feeling irritable and down after a day of skipped meals and back-to-back meetings, there’s a good chance these stressors are affecting your mood. Recognising a likely cause to your mood shifts allows you to respond constructively, perhaps by prioritising a break or a meal.

To take things further, our research suggests you can gain a deeper layer of insight into mood swings via a process we call ‘sense foraging’. Instead of ruminating about the possible causes of your mood, try tuning in to your bodily sensations:

• First, take a moment to set an intention to be curious and explore your mood. This is critical for overcoming the temptation to distract yourself from unexpected emotions.
• Then sense your mood as it unfolds, right here and right now. Do you feel something in your body? Are you drawn to or annoyed by something in your external environment?
• Now reflect on these sensations – is there anything familiar about them? Some potential cause? Can you set a future intention to notice what is happening when this mood arises in the future?

Sense foraging invites you to notice what your body feels like when you experience different emotions. This can help you find overlooked causes of mood swings, such as low energy or a need for movement. Once you notice a mood trigger, try making small changes. For instance, you may notice that your energy level changes predictably at a certain time of day, or that you get anxious after a second coffee. You may become irritable if you have too many days without time alone, or feel down if you are on your own too much.

Once you start to notice a pattern, you can make small changes – try a different afternoon drink instead of that second coffee, or ask for some attention from the people in your life. These modest adjustments don’t guarantee instant mood stability, but they might help create a more stable emotional foundation.

Respect more powerful influences

Not every change in mood is amenable to a small change in routine or request for help. Some life stages bring their own set of mood swings, driven by changes in both hormones and the roles we play in life.

When hormones are involved, such as during adolescence or menopause, there is likely no quick fix for unpredictable moods. This does not mean that one is powerless – the same practice of setting intention and then taking time to explore one’s mood can still be helpful. It is akin to becoming familiar with the presence of alcohol in your system or the onset of a fever – there is something that it feels like when the hormones are taking charge. In these situations, the key is to recognise the feeling of the hormonal wave before it leads to an outburst or rash decision.

With such recognition comes an opportunity to reflect before reacting, and also to explain what’s going on to the people around you. It won’t completely prevent your mood from causing problems, but you may feel some relief in knowing the cause behind your irritation, and you’ll be less likely to blame yourself or others when those hormones are raging.

Sometimes the cause is not purely biological. Changing life roles, like becoming a parent or having your children leave home, can also drive mood changes. In these cases, the practice remains the same – set intention, explore, and recognise when a different mood is becoming dominant. Take time to reflect and discuss these changes with someone else if possible. It takes a while to update our models of ourselves in the world in response to these life changes, and giving yourself time to process changes can be a true gift.

Get support and another perspective

When you’re in the midst of a mood swing, don’t assume that people around you will know what you’re experiencing. Bringing them into the loop can be helpful both for you and for them.

Revealing your difficulties with mood may seem awkward – after all, we’re supposed to have a handle on our emotions as adults. Yet there are social conventions for communicating a mood swing – people who care about you are almost always willing to accommodate such communication if it comes as a request for support rather than blaming others or being defensive.

You may be going through a really rough period, having thoughts of worthlessness and isolation. These don’t seem like endearing topics to raise suddenly. But you could reach out to someone and say: ‘Hey, I could really use a night out right now.’ People get what it is like to need a release and support, and can create an opportunity for connection.

Making light of a situation or finding a positive way to engage others becomes much more accessible if you can take the time to notice your mood and decide to communicate and include others as you work through it. Once others are engaged, you get the benefit of their perspective, and also some distraction from the intensity of what you are going through.

Sometimes, another person’s insight can bring clarity to what’s going on, or simply offer you the comfort of knowing you’re not alone. If you are feeling like life just sucks, going out with a friend can remind you that, together, you have more power to affect your mood than you would on your own.

Know when to get professional help

If your mood swings are severe or lead you to consider hurting yourself in any way, it’s essential to seek immediate support from a mental health professional.

Here are some specific signs/experiences to watch out for:

• Intense highs. You may feel an unusually elevated mood, such as intense energy or excitement that lasts for days on end, including feeling like you don’t need to sleep. You may also notice grandiose ideas about yourself, in which you have special powers or capacities to succeed.
• Impulsivity. You may feel incredibly stimulated by everything around you, which can lead to taking risks and acting impulsively, such as going on spending sprees, engaging in reckless sexual behaviour, making rash decisions without consulting others or driving dangerously.
• Irritability. Being easily annoyed by other peoples’ presence or routine behaviours. Finding unexpected noises or ambient sounds invasive and intolerable. Speaking and acting harshly towards others without an ability to self-regulate.
• Panic. Feeling overwhelmed by a sense of fear or dread. Being convinced that a catastrophe is around the corner and not being able to avoid it. Removing yourself from situations to resolve this discomfort, even at high social/reputational cost.
• Mood drops. Prolonged periods of sadness, ruminating over past problems for hours or days on end. Tearfulness, feelings of guilt or inadequacy, troubles with sleep and appetite (too much or too little), an unusual tendency to avoid others, including important responsibilities, feeling like nothing can give you pleasure or hope.

While anyone can have moods like this, if they become both extreme and long lasting, seek professional help. If the intense moods start to interfere with your ability to function, the most common diagnosis is bipolar disorder. Fortunately, these types of experiences are well recognised by clinicians and can be managed through a combination of mood-stabilising drugs and psychotherapy.

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