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Lucy Foulkes

Psychologist and author, London

Lucy Foulkes is a psychologist and honorary lecturer at University College London. A former associate editor at Aeon+Psyche, she is the author of Losing Our Minds (2021). She lives in London.

See Lucy Foulkes’s profile on Aeon

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Written by Lucy Foulkes

Two women talking in front of a poster depicting men reading newspapers, with a construction worker nearby.

Communication and language

guide

How to have more meaningful conversations

Be brave enough to share, kind enough to listen, and you can escape the shallows of small talk to dive deep with another

by Lucy Foulkes

Photo of a person walking with their dog on a path in a park during autumn, surrounded by trees with colourful foliage.

Depression

guide

How to engage with life when you feel down

Withdrawing from activities you enjoy is both a product and cause of low mood. Break the cycle with behavioural activation

by Lucy Foulkes

Black and white photo of three men in a shop, two in bowler hats clowning with an electric fan while a clerk watches amusedly.

Violence and aggression

idea

Ever taken pleasure in another’s pain? That’s ‘everyday sadism’

It’s not just killers who are sadistic. To counteract the suffering caused by everyday sadism, recognise how common it is

by Lucy Foulkes

Edited by Lucy Foulkes

Photo of a woman indoors holding a phone displaying a video call with four participants against a yellow wall background.

Love

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Digital entanglement is changing the nature of breakups

We interviewed people about their breakups to find out how matters were complicated by being technologically intertwined

by Elise van den Hoven

A couple sharing an intimate moment at a café table with wine glasses, a candle and an ashtray, seen through a window.

Love

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Your partner’s infidelity needn’t be a relationship catastrophe

Infidelity needn’t end a relationship: many people have affairs for reasons that have nothing to do with their partner

by Dylan Selterman

Photo of students sitting at desks in a classroom. Focus is on a woman appearing thoughtful with a water bottle nearby.

Anxiety

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Set yourself free by developing a growth mindset toward anxiety

Everyone feels anxious in moments of not knowing. It’s your beliefs about anxiety that influence what you do next

by Hans Schroder

Photo of a child in a Minnie Mouse outfit meeting Pluto and Goofy characters at a theme park entrance with an adult nearby.

Worry and rumination

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Worry is an unhelpful friend and a shoddy fortune-teller

Worry is emotionally distressing, messes with our thinking, and makes us miss out on the things that matter. Dump it fast

by Lucas LaFreniere

Photo of miniature figurines on wooden blocks with strings of glowing lights in the foreground creating a festive atmosphere.

Dissociation and detachment

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When reality slips through your fingers: in search of dissociation

Pinning down the slippery strangeness of dissociation is like grappling with a bar of soap, but it badly needs a definition

by Emma Černis

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Emotions

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There’s something in my eye: why we happy-cry and what it does for us

Happy tears are often neglected in emotion research. But there are many types, and they have an important function

by Janis Zickfeld

A man watches a film on a monitor, showing a close-up of a scene with two people.

Addiction

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If you think you’ve got a porn addiction, you probably haven’t

People with addictions see relationships, health and careers fall apart. Most people who watch porn don’t meet this definition

by Joshua Grubbs

Photo of a person pushing a pram on a grassy hill with mountains and a village in the background.

Parenting and families

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It should be OK for parents to express regret about having children

Regret is common to all humans. So it’s no surprise that some parents regret having children: it shouldn’t be a taboo topic

by Jenna Abetz & Julia Moore

A stormy sea with large waves crashing against a pier; a lone seagull is flying against a grey, misty backdrop.

Difficult emotions

guide

How to calm your inner storm

When your emotions become too painful and overwhelming, regain control using skills from dialectical behaviour therapy

by Sheri Van Dijk

Photo of rubbish piled against a wall with graffiti reading “La Vita è Bella” on a city street.

Difficult emotions

idea

You can train yourself to find disgusting things less gross

Disgust protects you, but it can also keep you at arm’s length from others. You can learn to lessen disgust’s false alarms

by Shiu Wong

Photo of assorted fresh foods on a wooden table including fruit veg cheese meat fish nuts spices oil bread and herbs.

Pain

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Solving chronic pain via the kitchen, not the medicine cabinet

While medicine still struggles with the mystery of chronic pain, simple dietary changes can bring much-needed relief

by Rowena Field

Stone statue of a man holding his face in one hand against a dark blue background, expressing despair.

Shame and guilt

guide

How to save yourself another pointless guilt trip

Just because you feel guilty doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. Relax the rules you live by and set yourself free

by Aziz Gazipura