What to do when someone goes on the defensive
Our natural impulses often make matters worse. Here’s an approach that works, grounded in conflict resolution and psychology
by Adar Cohen & Nick Wignall
Relate
The bonds that tie us: family, friendships, love and community
Dangerous things
Like the red-eyed tree frog tadpoles, my son and I fell into a new beginning
by Heather Swan
When talking brings you relief, brain syncing may be at work
Something curious happens in two people’s brains during supportive interactions. It could help explain their emotional power
by Yarden Avnor & Simone Shamay-Tsoory
A sister who wasn’t ours
We were her foster family for two and a half years. We had no claim to her, but she became part of us
by Kelsey Day
How to chat with almost anyone
It can be awkward at first, but people are more open to conversation than you think – and it could lead to deeper connection
by Michael Yeomans
Guides
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How to cultivate collective intellectual humility
Being smart is knowing what you don’t know. From work meetings to book clubs, use these tips to boost your group’s thinking
by Elizabeth Krumrei-Mancuso & Mark Alfano
How to handle a mismatch in sexual desire
A difference in sexual appetite is a common source of tension for couples. Don’t ignore it – turn toward it with curiosity
by Ann O’Brien
Popular
Does it matter if your romantic partner is similar to you?
From traits like extraversion to specific habits, there are many ways a couple can match. New research tests whether it helps
by Phuong Linh L Nguyen & Moin Syed
How to be an emotional leader
In times of change and pressure, a set of skills known as ‘psychological flexibility’ can help you and your team to thrive
by Selda Koydemir
How to respond to offensive comments in a thoughtful way
When someone insults you or people you care about, this advice can help you figure out whether to speak up and what to say
by Alicia del Prado
Lab at the edge of the world
When my daughter was bullied, I decided to homeschool her. A chain reaction ensued
by Lea Page
How to handle a mismatch in sexual desire
A difference in sexual appetite is a common source of tension for couples. Don’t ignore it – turn toward it with curiosity
by Ann O’Brien
Metaphors open up our minds – but can also shut them down
The best analogies in poetry and science really crackle, but when do they expand our thinking and when do they constrain it?
by Claire O’Callaghan
Discarded
The end of a friendship cracked me apart, triggering hidden memories – and helping me heal old wounds
by Antonia Malchik
A sister who wasn’t ours
We were her foster family for two and a half years. We had no claim to her, but she became part of us
by Kelsey Day
Popular
View allDoes it matter if your romantic partner is similar to you?
From traits like extraversion to specific habits, there are many ways a couple can match. New research tests whether it helps
by Phuong Linh L Nguyen & Moin Syed
How to be an emotional leader
In times of change and pressure, a set of skills known as ‘psychological flexibility’ can help you and your team to thrive
by Selda Koydemir
How to respond to offensive comments in a thoughtful way
When someone insults you or people you care about, this advice can help you figure out whether to speak up and what to say
by Alicia del Prado
Lab at the edge of the world
When my daughter was bullied, I decided to homeschool her. A chain reaction ensued
by Lea Page
Notes to self
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Videos
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A dancing NBA superfan on the joy of spaces that let us go wild and get weird
Directed by Mickey Duzyj
Dreamlike fragments capture the pain and beauty of a father-daughter bond
Small talk is an art, not a triviality. Here’s how you can master it
Prison letters animate Diane’s attempt to understand a distant father
Sweet illustrations capture women’s stories of first-time queer attraction
A girl upends her grandparents’ ‘love story’ in this hilarious animation
Shuli’s mother has known he was gay for years. Can they finally talk about it?
Feral knowledge
I wrote a book about dogs as pets. But I truly understood them only after I was bitten by a street dog
by Margret Grebowicz
Lab at the edge of the world
When my daughter was bullied, I decided to homeschool her. A chain reaction ensued
by Lea Page
True contact is found in silence
For Emil Cioran, ‘true contact’ with another is the deep intimacy that emerges through mute togetherness
by Sam Dresser
To see your home city anew, try this
See a city through a visitor’s eyes to capture feelings you’ve lost, or never had – it’s the vicarious construal effect
by Elena Seymenliyska
Are people less talkative these days?
A study explores how many words people use a day, whether women really speak more than men, and whether we’re talking less
by Matt Huston
Does it matter if your romantic partner is similar to you?
From traits like extraversion to specific habits, there are many ways a couple can match. New research tests whether it helps
by Phuong Linh L Nguyen & Moin Syed
I’m trying a different approach to listening
Practising Carl Rogers’s unconditional positive regard helps me be more compassionate and less judgmental – of myself too
by Molly Williamson
Girl in the water
I’d saved someone from drowning. Had I done the right thing?
by James McConnachie
The voices that stick in our minds
Are the most memorable voices just the ones we hear frequently? Or is there some other quality they have?
by Matt Huston
Discarded
The end of a friendship cracked me apart, triggering hidden memories – and helping me heal old wounds
by Antonia Malchik
The loving tongue
In Spanish, I wasn’t the clumsy son of the town amputee. Learning the language catalysed my reinvention
by Timothy Hampton
How to respond to offensive comments in a thoughtful way
When someone insults you or people you care about, this advice can help you figure out whether to speak up and what to say
by Alicia del Prado
Metaphors open up our minds – but can also shut them down
The best analogies in poetry and science really crackle, but when do they expand our thinking and when do they constrain it?
by Claire O’Callaghan
The history of family offers a liberating view of custom and love
Chronicling the families of the past shows just how much family values, feelings and decision-making can morph over time
by Katie Barclay
How to be an emotional leader
In times of change and pressure, a set of skills known as ‘psychological flexibility’ can help you and your team to thrive
by Selda Koydemir
How to make someone feel seen and heard
Validation skills are not only useful for therapists. Learn them and you’ll improve your personal and work relationships
by Caroline Fleck